I arrived 4 minutes late for my 10am this morning. My 10am, a strict European, had arrived at 10 sharp ofcourse. At 10:02 she called to say she couldn't wait and was upset I wasn't there. I apologized sincerely, and I meant it, and didn't feel it was needed to justify that traffic was a bitch across town. That was not her problem. Late is late. Bottom line she got to the meeting before me. She said she had blocked 10-10:30 for the meeting. At 10:02 when she called she said she was already back to her car. We spoke for 2 minutes. Or rather I got lectured.
A European accent and attitude gave me a piece of her mind about my not being there. I kept apologizing. Then I just sat back and smiled as she continued. All of a sudden everything was hilarious. So she blocked a half hour and couldn't wait a few minutes. No one else was involved in this meet. There was nothing serious nor pressing to be addressed. It was just a chit chat meet really. In no way am I saying that she had to, but heck....
I got to thinking about how seriously upset she was, and why I found it all surreal.
It's a culture thing. No?
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. I certainly do! I take long lunches followed by guiltless siestas - something I hardly ever do anywhere else.
I'm Arab. I slack off on time - a lot sometimes. It doesn't bother me. Usually it doesn't bother others. I tolerate it, usually gladly, unless I'm stuck in a messy situation with a severed limb and my arteries gushing. Maybe in such a state I may get a bit irked.
Right this moment, I'm exhausted of what's right and what's wrong. When did we get so uptight? OK fine, sometimes lateness just cannot be tolerated. But if there's no body and no blood, and it's just a few minutes, what's the biggy?
Is time really so rigid? Is time really that linear, all the time? Is time so deterministic?
This is my Jordan. My turf. You're in my culture. Adapt. It's part of this game of life. It's part of the joke of being here. It's the hurry-up-and-wait thing. Today, I'm finding it kind of funny. I'm sure one day this is going to bite me in the ass. But right now, it's good food for film.
6/11/2008
Time. Culture. Adaptation.
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10 comments:
she needs to chill, 4 minutes is nothing even in European ad North American standards.
I think 10 and more minutes is late.
Yeah .. she needs to chill out :-) .. 2 minutes and 4 minutes are not much by any standard. Heck 2 minutes could be lost just due to clock synchronization problems.
Fi3lan! Post should've been one word: Chillax.
But I had some time on my hands ;P
You know, in our meetings. We got accustomed to giving 5 minutes for setup, preparation, people to make it ...etc
And when someone is a bit late, (depending on how essential they are to the meeting) we give them a call and start while they take thier time to get there
But here's what might be happening. I usually get to my meetings 5 minutes before (sometimes even more) so at 4 minutes past, it's like I've been there for 10 minutes.
Anyway ... Since one can make the mistake, one needs to absorb the lecture and just let it pass.
Even for our European standards, she's definitely an "angry person". She made you waste your time, going through traffic to get to the meeting. You should have lectured her on that if you were angry too. Fortunately, you're not.. Depends where she's from too. Germans and Spanish don't have the same notion of time.
Frenchman
it may not have been fair for me to generalize and allude to europeans, but i just didn't want to get personal, coz it's not at all.
oh no, i didn't waste anytime. it's where i had to go anyway. and i was not angry at all. i was late, and it was her right to express her feelings. it's a free world in my books! like i said found it funny a bit. i did want to just firmly tell her to chill and just wait a couple mins and we can have that meet, but she was going a mile a minute and silently i thought she's having a bad morning anyway, so like qwaider says, i just let her vent. the convo ended on a good note once i was able to finally veer her off the rant. we'll eventually meet i suppose!
You're the one who was late. I can't understand why you're complaining.
She is mad because she respected your time and the importance of the meeting she is having with you and you didn't
ouch!
I believe that it is only civilized behavior to give people 10 minutes 'courtesy time', its only normal that some things cannot be planned for just come up sometimes - traffic, bumping into an acquaintance etc...
Yes it is somewhat inconsiderate of you to be a bit late, but it is downright rude of her to make such a huge deal about it.
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